


The Price is Right ... is it?

by VainVariety



Category: Helltaker (Video Game)
Genre: Cuddling, F/F, Friendly competition, Not Beta Read, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28917474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VainVariety/pseuds/VainVariety
Summary: “You know who wins, don’t you?”“Of course I do.”
Relationships: Lucifer/Pandemonica (Helltaker), Malina/Pandemonica (Helltaker)
Kudos: 15





	The Price is Right ... is it?

**Author's Note:**

> Things have been rough recently, I needed something sillier. The Price is Right is my guilty pleasure, haha.

“Maybe you should be careful with the remote.”Azazel warned, hands reaching out as if to take it.“If you don’t know how to use it, erm, maybe I could teach you?”

Cerberus turned to face the angel, device in mouth.Their other two bodies nodding as the middle felt around the buttons with their tongue.

“It has an interesting texture.”The left commented, their tail moving to rest in their lap.

“It’s kinda, uhhh … Gummy!But hard.A hard gummy, but also a really really hard gummy.”The right elaborated.

Azazel winced as drool dribbled down the edge and onto the couch cushions below.

The T.V. flashed different images; ones about animals, another displaying the weather forecast, and one that Azazel wishes she didn’t see.That was enough!

The angel yanked the remote from the demon’s mouth, Cerberus winced and massaged their gums.The tele no longer flashed such images, and now landed on a clip of a shiny car, presented by a well-dressed woman.It was then that someone else skipped down the stairs to rush right up to the screen, eyeing the woman.

“She’s really pretty,”Modeus murmured, her tail swishing with interest.Azazel pursed her lips together and craned her neck to try and get a glimpse.The middle Cerberus shook her head, the three of them squeezing together in a cozy little pile, content with their mouth handiwork.

Modeus soon sat before the screen, gazing up at the car and the excited man upon the screen.A man in a suit began to explain a set of rules— you had to guess a series of items and if their prices were above or below the one given for a shot at the car.Azazel didn’t quite catch on, but Cerberus began to bark the the price of a salad tosser was lower than the one given.

The contestant guessed the same, and the price was revealed to be lower.He did a little celebratory dance, and moved onto the next item.He got the price wrong on the next two items and was only allowed one try to guess for the car.

He guessed $21,835.Modeus winced, Cerberus shook their heads.The price tag was lifted to reveal that it was not the price of the car.There was a frumpy noise effect to go along with his dismay, and it was revealed that the car cost $18,903.

But how did they know that?Azazel frantically felt around for her notebook, rushing off the couch and about the house trying to find it.

Malina brushed past Azazel, making a comment about someone being in a hurry.She rummaged through the fridge and pulled out a can of seltzer, stopping by the living room when she saw the crowd.The demon observed people standing at podiums and shouting numbers into a microphone, mindlessly flipping the tab and taking a sip.

She hoped that the yellow podium would get there for no other reason than the human had blue hair, but it was the person standing at the green podium who went up.Unimpressed, she found herself drifting closer to the television to see what this chump could do.

Azazel came back in a flurry, notebook and pen in hand as she resumed her spot next to the three dogs and began writing away.

“Are you interested in this show too, Malina?”She asked, not taking her eyes off her task at hand.Malina bristled almost immediately, countering with a witty slur of insults. Azazel laughed it off, none of them seem phased by her presence.

So the demon decided to stay around for a spell, in hopes the girl at the yellow podium would come back.

Pandemonica walked in the front door and was taken aback by such a crowd.As she took off her shoes, she pondered whether or not she should join them all, and upon seeing the human on T.V. wince as they got an answer wrong, she went to the kitchen to grab a chair.it was placed next to where Malina stood, her head resting against the other’s arm as her eyes remained glued to the screen.

“Dude, what the hell?”Malina hissed, shrugging her arm away from Pandemonica’s lean.

“Stay here, I’m dreadfully tired.”

“Fuck off.”

“Watch your tone.”She pushed her glasses up her nose with a hardy sigh.“Azazel loves to make coffee.”

Right on cue, Azazel looked to Pandemonica with a smile and asked, “Would you like a cup, Miss Pandemonica?”

Malina froze, glaring down at the other who only took a second to analyze her answer and replied, “Not yet, Azazel.”Such blackmail!Malina hesitantly wrapped an arm around Pandemonica’s shoulders and tugged her close to the crook of her waist.Just what Pandemonica needed.

Judgement and Justice walked in together through the back door, the former wiping dirt from their hands onto their pants and Judgement shaking clumps of mud off her boots.Justice was the first to notice there was something playing on T.V. but Judgement was the first to react.

“WHAT ARE YOU ALL WATCHING?”She ordered, flexing her armored claws in suspense.“WHAT IS GOING ON?”

“A game show!”Azazel piped up.

“Humans guessing numbers in order to win prizes.”Pandemonica droned, her tail loosely batting around Malina’s limp one.

Judgement snorted, crossing her arms and glancing to Justice who adjusted their glasses and headband.“SOUNDS LIKE A WASTE OF TIME.IF YOU THINK THAT THE ENTERTAINMENT OF MORTAL’S PLEASURE IS SOMETHING OF INTEREST THEN I—“

“Sounds cool.”Justice hummed, hands in pockets and waltzing over.They almost bumped into Malina on their way there, who quickly stepped to the side with a ‘watch it’.Those huddled around the screen gave Judgement a skeptical look before returning their attention to what they sought after.

The High Prosecutor’s face bloomed with color, her skin hot to the touch.Whatever— If they all were there, Pandemonica included, then she would watch, but Lucifer was no where in sight.Her visit would be short, Judgement told herself, lingering near where Justice sat.There was no denying her presence, as muddy footprints were left in her wake.

It was the last round before they would move onto the final segment.Zdrada noticed all the commotion and left her room, yapping for everyone to shut up only for sight of them all together to leave her speechless.None of them ever stayed this quiet and this organized for this long.Curiosity got the better of her— she stepped over Justice and sat between Azazel and Cerberus, arms around both parties as she asked.

“What are you _bums_ watching?”She snickered, only to be shushed by Malina who looked intensely at the screen.Zdrada stuck her tongue out at her sister, huffing two clouds of smoke from her nostrils as some chick with blue hair said a number into her microphone.The camera changed to that of some old dude in a suit who read out a different number.The same chick started jumping up and down with delight, Modeus seemed particularly fixated on this woman and so was Malina, who jolted as she climbed a set of stairs.

Pandemonica groaned, waiting for Malina to settle down as her head returned to rest on her side.

“That your girlfriend, Malinka?”Zdrada nodded to the screen, Malina sneered and mouthed a curse.Satisfaction quieted her down, slumping lower onto the couch as Azazel scribbled away and a Cerberus turned to huddle into her side.It wasn’t a welcome gesture, but not a rejected one.

She had to play a game with a man on a mountain, if she guessed the price of the items correctly then the man was safe.If not, he would creep up the mountain and if the price was very off, he would fall off.

The girl got the first price correct, the man in the suit seemed very impressed.The second price was over by twelve dollars, and the second price was over by twenty-one.The little man dove off the cliff, much to Malina’s frustration and Zdrada’s delight.But she moved onto the wheel and won with ninety cents.

Commercials began to play, Zdrada bore a wild smirk directed at her sister.Pandemonica had lifted herself from Malina’s waist and reached for her drink, taking a small sip and returning it to her hand.Azazel was still catching up on the notes as Modeus turned to look back at the other demons for approval.

“I think Janice is gonna win.”She murmured, idly blinking as Malina flared.

“Hell no.It’s Gina, obviously.”

“WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?”Judgement sneered towards the sour one, leaning in front of Justice to better gauge her reaction.

Malina was hot under all their attention, Pandemonica winced as the other’s grip on her shoulder tightened.“I just know, dammit!How do _you_ know Janice is going to get it?”

There was no room for witty response before a portal opened within the kitchen, the clicking of heels along the tile signaling someone else had joined them.

If anyone were to know who was going to win, it would be her.

“Hey Lucy.”Justice craned their neck towards the noise, the Queen mumbled a greeting back before halting in her tracks.

“What in the devil are you all doing here?Is something wrong?”

“Janice or Gina?”Malina barked.

“Pardon?”

Zdrada roared with laughter, coughing up clouds of smoke in her wake.Her sister was frantic, shooting looks between all of them who judged Malina’s excitement to be fruitless.While the two sisters worried and squabbled about each other, Pandemonica twisted in her chair and explained the situation.The two exchanged knowing glances and the Queen took her seat in her receptionists lap.

Malina was relieved of her duties to act as a pillow yet she refused to leave their side.Pandemonica’s arms were around Lucifer’s waist in an instant, nearly nodding off on her shoulder as fingers ran through her curls.

The program continued.All attention was on the T.V.The first big deal was Gina’s— a getaway to Canada, assorted luggage, and a new car.Both of them seemed excited about it, but Gina let Janice guess the price.

“Twenty-three thousand, seven hundred.”The numbers appeared on the podium, a few groans among the living room.Cerberus thought it was too low and yipped numbers that kept on getting higher and higher.Azazel wasn’t sure how realistic that number was.None of them had any sense of monetary value, the price meant nothing.

But that didn’t mean they couldn’t place their bets.

The next prize was a trip to a spa, a hot tub, and a trip to Taiwan.Gina guessed twenty-seven thousand, and then commercials appeared again.

The suspense was catching up with Malina.Her foot tapped the floor and swirled her can of soda.

“Maybe it is Gina.”Justice hummed, taking off their sunglasses to clean off on the side of their shirt.Malina looked hopeful until they said someone had to root for the underdog.

“How dedicated are you to Gina, Malina?”Lucifer asked, the tip of her foot lightly nudging the other’s calf.

Her eyebrows furrowed at her Queen before uttering, “I just know it.”

“How far are you w—“

“It’s a FUCKING program, Lucifer.I’m not making damned bets over a stupid human!”Malina’s voice prompted the Helltaker to peer through the door to check on them all.

The Queen got a kick out of her reaction, but Pandemonica was now pushing her head into her chest with a sharp mumble to keep it down.No deals with the devil today.

Malina wasn’t done yet.

“You know who wins, don’t you?”She uttered.Lucifer hummed, pulling the body beneath her snug against her chest.

“Of course I do.”

“So you know it’s Gina who wins, don’t you?”Modeus looked over to Malina with scowl.

“How are you so sure?”The lustful demon scowled.

Malina bristled, having her intuition be questioned more than once was more than enough of an adrenaline rush.

“Because I just know!”Malina shouted, and the two were locked in a stand still.Judgement and Justice sat, content with their seats, not bothering to break up their squabble.

Zdrada withdrew her arm from Azazel’s shoulders to pick at her ear.“I’m only saying Janice to spite Malinka.”It broke some of the tension in the room, Malina took the time to process what she was hearing.

“So it might be Gina.”She uttered to herself, casting a look to both Justice and Lucifer.Neither of them said anything, but a slight sway of Lucifer’s tail gave away her stance.

The commercial ended, cutting to the scene of both Janice and Gina behind their podiums.The host walked over to Janice first, reading her price aloud.

The room held their breath.“Thirty-one thousand, five hundred and thirty-six dollars— a difference of… seven thousand, eight hundred, thirty-six dollars.”

The difference flashed across her podium.She still had a chance.Malina wasn’t satisfied just yet, her knuckles were turning white as her nails dug into her palm.

The host walked over to Gina now and read the price on her podium.He pulled out a card from the price tag.

Malina bit her lip.

“Twenty-eight thousand, nine hundred fifty-two— difference of,”The difference appeared on her screen. “One thousand, nine-hundred fifty-two.Gina, congratulations.”She gasped at the host and began jumping up and down with glee, soon rushing to greet her prizes.Malina punched the air with a victorious roar, jabbing a finger towards Modeus who stuck her tongue out and sulked out of the living room.

The crowd dispersed, Lucifer stepped off her receptionists lap and advised her to get some shut-eye as Zdrada shoved a sleeping Cerberus off her shoulder, flipping open a pack of cigarettes to chuckle.

“Knew it was Gina.”

“I’m surprised Modeus didn’t realize it.”Lucifer noted, bringing the chair Pandemonica sat on back to the kitchen.

“I think she did.”The demon snapped and ignited her cigarette, taking a puff and reclining as Azazel took her last notes and departed as well to check up on Malina and Modeus.“Probably went with Janice ‘cause she’s hotter.”

Lucifer nodded in agreement, fishing the cigarette from the other’s mouth to take a drag and walk off with it.“You should tell your sister you knew.”

Justice got up from where they sat, Judgement following suit to tail behind their Queen.“It might make her happy.”Justice commented, the trio wandering outside to fill the Helltaker in.

Zdrada ran a hand through her hair, silence now filling the living room.She already gave Malina her satisfaction, maybe she would indulge her another day.


End file.
